Yvonne Allen: How to survive the dating game this festive season
- Written by Tess Sanders Lazarus
We all know that the festive season is about love and sharing special time with the people who are the most important to you. However, according to Yvonne Allen, well known relationship mentor, psychologist and matchmaker, while the festive season is supposed to be a time of great happiness and celebration, it can also be a difficult and lonely time for many – particularly singles looking for love.
“The festive season is a time that is unfortunately portrayed with an unrealistic level of romance in movies and media. While it is very possible to meet that special someone during this special time of year, unreal expectations can cause us to lose sight of what is really important,” Yvonne said.
For those of us who don’t have Jude Law knocking on our door or Hugh Grant stammering his way through another ‘I love you’ speech, Yvonne Allen has some helpful tips to surviving the dating game during this holiday period.
Don’t pick up someone to spend the holidays with because of ‘pressure’ to do so
Pressure comes in all shapes and forms and not in the way you might think. You know your friends mean well when they say they have someone you’d really get along with – or that your family doesn’t mean to make you feel bad when you tell them you won’t be bringing someone to dinner. This can all add up - and end up - with you feeling that you’re in need of some urgent companionship. It is important not to fall into this trap!
You should never feel pressured to rush into a relationship, even if those encouraging you to do so mean well. Take your time, no matter what the time of year.
Find a deeper connection
It is undeniable that the Christmas and New Year holiday period can be a truly magical and romantic time for a couple who have recently started dating. However, it can also be stressful. Catching up with respective friends and family, attending functions and feeling that general spark of excitement in the air can cause stress as well as pleasure for a new – or existing – relationship.
Moments during this magical time can feel like they’re straight out of a movie. Be careful though, movies don’t tend to show what happens after the credits roll! Enjoy these moments but make sure that you and your holiday partner have a deeper connection that can last after the decorations come down.
Avoid awkward moments
Many of us seek to make the holidays a truly special and magical time. Although it can be enjoyable to relish in this, it is important to maintain your perspective. The festive season in reality is just another time of year. Don’t pressure your potential companion - or feel pressured - into doing something ‘special’ all the time.
If you are both comfortable going to family events together then that’s great as long as you are on the same page re enjoying the season without placing too much stress on each other. For many people there is nothing worse than being included in family events or gatherings with friends by someone you barely know. So while being kind and reasonable, if you are not at ease, bid them your best wishes and politely bid them adieu at the earliest appropriate time.
Meeting new people
This festive time of year is great to get out and about as everyone is doing the same. Events are a great place to mix with new people and you never know who you are going to meet. There are numerous celebrations going on, whether you go to a friend’s party or a happening in the city. Staying at home alone isn’t going to help you find someone new. The main thing to remember though is to take it easy and enjoy yourself. If you meet somebody you have a connection with that’s great! However, even if you don’t, some time out with friends can be just as rewarding at this time of year
Meeting through friends and family
Whether you’ve thought about it or not, people you know are likely to have a network of friends and contacts you would enjoy meeting. The holiday period offers opportunities to attend social outings and events, end of year celebrations, Christmas parties, office drinks, New Year celebrations and more. Ask your friends and family to invite you to such events -you could not only enjoy the occasion but also possibly meet ‘that special someone’.
However, while enjoying the festive season, don’t get too caught up in party mode. End of year events are usually enjoyable - but they can get out of hand. Whether you are seeking a companion or enjoying a night out with someone you hope to be your companion, always be respectful and considerate. If you are catching up with friends, don’t leave your date without company. Make sure you consider their needs and give them your time and attention.
“Holiday season is a busy time of year and it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement. The key is to remember that despite all the excitement, the same rules of dating still apply. Be the best version of you and be you,” Yvonne Allen added.
Established by Yvonne Allen in 1976, Yvonne Allen and Associates is a highly respected introduction agency that has won recognition for the professional and supportive approach it takes to assist its clients to achieve their relationship goals. Many of its clients have business or professional occupations. They appreciate that the consultancy does the searching and they enjoy the outcomes.
With offices in Sydney and Melbourne, Yvonne Allen and Associates offers personalised and discreet services for people looking for a life companion.
Regardless of age, profession or location, the dedicated team at Yvonne Allen and Associates offer significant experience and one of the largest networks in the country. They are highly respected matchmakers and Australia’s longest running introduction agency.
Daily Bulletin
