6 Tips for Repairing an Intimate Relationship
- Written by Samantha Ball
Nothing matters more than the relationships we have with those closest to us. That's why it's so devastating when an intimate relationship in your life becomes fractured. Whether it's due to a loss of trust, a lack of communication, or constant bickering, fixing a relationship can sometimes feel hopeless.
Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to begin building that relationship back up again. By implementing these six tips into your interactions with your partner, you'll be giving your relationship its best chance of working again.
1. Improve Communication
Communication is essential to building, maintaining, and repairing any intimate relationship in your life. You and your partner should aim for a relationship where you're comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other. By having a healthy amount of open communication, you can discuss issues at hand without keeping anything bottled up.
When one or both people in a relationship become secretive or closed off, making progress in repairing the relationship is almost impossible. If you don't talk, or can't talk, in fear of having a verbal sparring match, you'll never be able to move past your issues.
Unsure of how to communicate in a healthy and constructive way? When you speak to each other, be sure to remain calm and listen intently, even when broaching uncomfortable subjects. Resist the impulse to become defensive, and try to choose to be compassionate instead.
2. Be Accountable
It's important to be accountable for the part you've played in fracturing this relationship. While there are definitely situations where one person is largely to blame for a breakdown in communication or a lack of trust, both of you need to be a part of the solution.
Acknowledging the mistakes you've made or the things you could've done differently, without being too hard on yourself, will go a long way to repairing this relationship.
3. Don't Dredge Up the Past
If you're dealing with one issue, don't bring up another issue from five years ago. While it can be tempting to cite past mistakes in order to prove a point or win an argument, it can derail your conversation and upset your partner unnecessarily. This is especially true if you've both already gone through this past issue and resolved it.
That being said, if there's a past issue you haven't gotten closure from, you have every right to bring it up. Ideally, you'll want to be deliberate with when and how you choose to talk about this issue. Understand ahead of time that your partner may not remember the incident. That's all the more reason to make past issues their own full conversation rather than slipping them into discussions about present issues.
4. Don't Try to Win
The desire to win is what turns a conversation into an argument. Neither you nor your partner should be constantly trying to one-up or outshout the other.
Though this drive to win an argument with a loved one usually comes from a place of pain and heightened emotion, it only makes the situation worse. If you're only focused on winning and appearing right, you'll never let yourself truly hear what your partner has to say, and vice-versa.
5. Show Gratitude
To repair your relationship, you need to show your partner how much you care about them. Expressing your gratitude to your partner will mean a lot to them, especially if they're feeling insecure about their relationship with you.
Reminding your partner about how grateful you are to have them in your life will make them feel safer and more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you going forward.
6. Be Patient
You can't repair an intimate relationship overnight. It takes time to rebuild the trust and connection you had before the issues you're facing now. That's why you shouldn't try to rush progress or take bigger steps before you're ready. Be patient with yourself and with your partner, taking everything day by day.
Can't Rebuild on Your Own? Call a Professional
There are some situations where you and your partner may need professional help to mend your relationship. There's no shame in reaching out to a licenced psychologist that specialises in relationship repair.
By speaking with a psychologist, you'll both receive important insights about yourselves, each other, and your relationship as a whole. You can then use this information, along with the psychologist's advice, to work on your relationship outside of your sessions.
Daily Bulletin
