Are you worried about your preschoolers’ anxiety? Here’s how to help

New research on a group of Australian preschoolers suggests more than 40% are dealing with an anxiety disorder.

The study, led by Monash University and published in the journal of Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry, was based on interviews with the mothers of 545 three- and four-year-olds.

It found 48% of the group met criteria for a mental health disorder, with 43% meeting the criteria for an anxiety disorder. This included separation anxiety, social phobia, specific phobias (for example, fear of the dark) and generalised anxiety disorder.

While these results seem shocking, the researchers note they should be “treated as preliminary and with caution”.

Other research tells us it’s quite normal for young children to experience some level of anxiety.

How can parents protect their children from anxiety? And how can you tell if they – and you – need more help to manage their mental health?

Some worries are normal

Anxiety is a natural response to a perceived threat, uncertainty or stress. It typically involves feelings of worry, nervousness or unease, along with body reactions such as increased heart rate, muscle tension and stomach issues.

Some degree of anxiety and worry is completely expected in preschool-aged children. Research tells us mild anxiety can even play a protective role — it helps us learn to identify and respond to potential threats.

Common worries and anxieties experienced at this developmental stage include fear of separation from caregivers, new people or situations, loud noises, the dark or nightmares and transitions (for example, going from home to daycare).

In the new Australian study, which we weren’t involved with, the most common form of anxiety for preschoolers was “specific phobias” – 31% of children met criteria for specific phobias. As the researchers note in their paper:

fear responses to scenarios such as the dark, storms, dentists and doctors may be considered normal in preschoolers at low frequencies […] these may be relatively transient compared to other disorders.

This suggests some preschoolers will grow out of some of their childhood worries with time.

What can parents do to help?

There are lots of things parents can do, both proactively and in the moment, when anxiety and worry show up for children.

Talk openly about emotions

Especially when things are calm. This might include reading books and chatting about what anxiety feels like in our body, when it might show up, and what can help. Doing this before your child is overwhelmed helps normalise these feelings, so when anxiety does arise, they have the language and context for it.

Great examples include the books The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside, Hey Warrior by Karen Young, and The Feelings Series by Tracey Moroney.

Validate concerns

When you notice your child is worried, gently name what might be going on for them.

Resist the urge to immediately reassure them (for example, saying “you’ll be fine”). Instead, acknowledge and validate the feeling. This helps your child feel understood and shows them their emotions are manageable with your support.

For example, you might say:

It sounds like you might be feeling nervous about going to swimming today. That makes sense, it’s OK to feel worried about new or tricky things.

Practise regulation strategies when times are calm

Strategies such as slowing down our breathing, spending time outdoors, or patting a pet can help manage anxiety.

Try and practise them before anxiety peaks. Make them part of your everyday routine and model them yourself. When children see adults using these tools, it reinforces that everyone has big feelings and there are positive ways to handle them.

Support brave behaviour

Anxiety commonly leads to avoidance. While avoidance can see anxiety symptoms reduce very quickly in the moment, it tends to make anxiety worse over time.

Try and gently encourage your child to engage in the things they feel anxious about. It is often beneficial to start with situations your child feels less anxious about to build their confidence.

For example, if they are anxious about swimming lessons, encourage them to sit by the edge of the pool to start. This doesn’t mean pushing your child. Instead, give your child time and space and stay alongside them as they take small steps. For example, you might say:

I can see this feels hard. How about we try joining in just for the first activity — I’ll stay right here with you.

Let your child know you are proud of them when they do things even when they are feeling anxious.

Signs you might need more help

While anxiety and worry are emotions that all children experience, some of the signs your child might benefit from some additional support include:

• anxiety is stopping your child from attending or enjoying kinder, preschool, daycare or other social situations

• anxiety is impacting every day life, including your child’s sleep or eating

• anxiety is causing significant and ongoing distress and emotional overwhelm for your child or the family more broadly

• anxiety is frequently showing up for your child and lasts for more than a few weeks.

Where can you get support?

Making an appointment with your child’s GP is a great first step. They can provide support and referrals to a paediatrician, psychologist or other type of therapist, such as a play therapist or occupational therapist.

You can also talk to your local maternal child health nurse. They can help you understand whether your child would benefit from additional support, and discuss referral options with you.

Free resources are also available for parents on the Raising Children Network (the federal government’s parenting website) and Emerging Minds, a site dedicated to children’s mental health.